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Comic portmanteau word, probably on confirm and infirmity


confirmities ‎(uncountable)

  1. Shakespearean nonce word meant to be humorous rather than to make any sense.
    By my troth, this is the old fashion; you two never meet but you fall to some discord: you are both, i' good truth, as rheumatic as two dry toasts; you cannot one bear with another's confirmities. What the good-year! one must bear, and that must be you: you are the weaker vessel, as as they say, the emptier vessel. — Shakespeare, 2 Henry IV, Act 2, Scene 4.