Talk:cupcakemama

RFV discussion: November 2020–March 2021

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cupcakemama

Dutch, "yummy mummy". The word does seem citable in Belgian Dutch, but I think the definition is rather different: it is used for women in their thirties or fourties who have a successful career but prefer to spend more time on parenting or even want to become full-time housewives (so the latter are a bit like tradwives without the ideological angle?). [1] [2] [3] Confusingly, the writers who use the term often gloss it as "yummy mummy", but it does not appear to actually have that meaning. [4] [5] Maybe they understood "yummy mummy" to have a different meaning. If this really had a meaning like "yummy mummy/MILF", it would be an incredibly asinine term to use in the type of cultural/economic/lifestyle reporting where it is actually attested. @Morgengave, Lambiam What do you think? ←₰-→ Lingo ^Bingo _Dingo (talk) 13:56, 8 November 2020 (UTC)

@Lingo Bingo Dingo I have not yet heard the word cupcakemama, so I can't help here. I do occasionally hear the words milf and yummy mummy being used in (Belgian) Dutch as loanwords. Morgengave (talk) 15:15, 8 November 2020 (UTC)

I too had not heard or seen this term before, but based on the uses it is clear that the definition “yummy mummy” is wrong. There may be some overlap between the two categories, but one is about a career choice while the other is about physical appearance. The first of the two sources linked to using the term yummy mummies (“'Cupcakemama' rukt op”) does not actually equate them: being yummy is a stepping stone (serving the intermediary goal of ensnaring a rich hubby) on the path to a cupcake mummy career. The second one (by Celia Ledoux) does; it was published a few months after the first one and may have taken the term from the earlier article, misunderstanding its use as being synonymous. Or not, since the Telegraph article about Cherie Blaire’s use of the term is really confusing: ‘The term “yummy mummy” is generally used to denote a woman whose husband’s wealth allows her to devote herself full-time to her children and her appearance.’[6] I just don’t think that is true; the term as generally used has no specific implications concerning a motherly devotion to children. Being rich – whether as a celebrity or by virtue of having ensnared a rich spouse — so that one has the means to spend on improving one’s physical appearance seems to be part of the concept, though. As used in an earlier Telegraph article, the term appears to refer exclusively to celebrity women maintaining an idealized body type after pregnancy.[7]  --Lambiam 16:25, 8 November 2020 (UTC)

In the van Dale election of the Word of the Year 2012, cupcakemama was the third choice in the lifestyle category, defined as, “moeder die er helemaal is voor haar gezin en daarvoor zelfs haar carrière heeft opgegeven”.[8] No connotation of attractiveness or wealth.  --Lambiam 18:38, 8 November 2020 (UTC)

@Lambiam What would you say about replacing the current definition with "{{lb|nl|Belgium}} A woman who has sacrificed (given up?) her career to spends more time on parenting or housework" or whatever phrasing you prefer? ←₰-→ Lingo ^Bingo _Dingo (talk) 20:52, 11 November 2020 (UTC)

As I wrote, I had not heard or seen this term before, so my understanding is based on the (very few) uses found. My impression is that the term is synonymous with thuisblijfmoeder as seen here (“... oftewel Thuisblijfmoeders”), but somewhat derogatory (as suggested by “oftewel Mutsen”). So perhaps:

{{lb|nl|Belgium|derogatory}} A stay-at-home mother.

Or else add a usage note that the term implies disapproval of a woman not opting for a working career.  --Lambiam 09:21, 12 November 2020 (UTC)

RFV passed/resolved. ←₰-→ Lingo ^Bingo _Dingo (talk) 18:20, 8 March 2021 (UTC)