User:Vuccala/Fun

From Wiktionary, the free dictionary
Jump to navigation Jump to search

Folk Etymologies[edit]

My degree in pseudolinguistics from Prager University gives me a unique edge over mainstream linguists (who are mere pawns of Big Lexicography). By doing my own research, I have managed to find the true etymologies of words such as:

Paraguay and Uruguay
When both these regions gained their independance from Spain, both wanted to name themselves Guay, which is Spanish for "cool". But since both couldn't be named the same thing, one chose to be called Uruguay from Uru + guay ("uru" means "chief" in Guaraní), and the other chose Paraguay from Para- + guay (para- means "beyond"). So these countries' names literally mean "Chiefly cool" and "Beyond cool".
dog
In medieval times, hounds were used for hunting, but eventually a new type of hound was bred that was mainly used for protecting ones home. The creator of this new breed also created a new name for it: the "D.O.G.", which is an acronym for: "Domestic Outdoor Guardian".
Fahrenheit
In medieval times, when people heated their homes with a hearth, they measured how warm it was by how high the flames were. If a room was hot, the fire's flames were said to be "Fair in height". Eventually when thermometers were invented, these were the degrees they measured in because conveniently 100℉ is equal the temperature of a very hot room. The spelling became corrupted to Fahrenheit by German thermometer makers who thought it was a single word.
welcome
In medieval times, a landowner was permitted to kill anyone who entered his house without permission. Thus the necessary etiquette to avoid such an accident was for the visitor to announce "I wish to come in!" and the landowner would reply "Well, come in!". Eventually this became shortened to just "Welcome!"
robot
In medieval times, the most repetitive job one could have was as a rower. Since sailing from Europe to the Spice Islands took many months of rowing, all day long, any drugerous repetitive job became known as a "rowboat" job. During the Great Vowel Shift, "rowboat" shifted to sound like "robot" and that's where we got the word from.
capital punishment
In medieval times, the judge would write out a criminal's punishment on a scroll and hand it to the jailer. But since killing was against the 10 Commandments, the judge had communicate that a criminal was to be executed in an indirect way that freed him from the sin. Hence if the guilty was to merely be jailed, the judge would write the word "punishment" in lowercase. But if execution was to be ordered, the judge would write "Punishment" with a capital, and the jailer would know what to do. Thus, execution became known as "the capital Punishment".

This is just a sample of the quality of work that will be available in my new original publication, A New English Dictionary on Pseudohistorical Principles.

Linguistic evidence for continental drift[edit]

By the dispassionate forces of geology, those many generations ago South America and Africa cleaved asunder; their flora and fauna forever divided between the two continents. To this day, on opposite sides of the sea – in Angola and Brazil – one finds speakers of Portuguese.

English nouns derived from Ancient Greek eponyms:[edit]

IPA: International Parrot Alphabet[edit]

Ringneck parrot demonstrating a creaky voiced rising open front unrounded vowel.

Since parrots also speak, and this speech is attested in YouTube videos, we'll have to add IPA phonetic transcriptions of parrot speech to the Pronunciation section of many words. The question worth asking is whether we need a new set of IPA symbols altogether, since parrots have no lips nor teeth yet can still make bilabial plosives and dental fricatives. I have petitioned the International Phonetic Association for an Psittacine Extension to the IPA, but they are yet to email me a reply. Until they do, let us go forward as so:

  • (Psittacine) IPA(key): [ˌpɹɪti.ˈbɝːːːɖ]

Mirror-reflected forms[edit]

A proposition to bring up in Wiktionary:Beer parlour and Wiktionary:Grease pit

Since every word can be reflected off a surface such as a mirror, I think we would all agree it'd be a good idea for Wiktionary to cover those forms as well. You'll find they're all attested simply by viewing their original attestation in a mirror.

The new type of definition I'm proposing would look like this:

Noun[edit]

ƨɔilduq

  1. Mirrored form of publics.


We'll have to duplicate all Wiktionary entries with their new mirrored forms, but a lack of mirrored character glyphs in Unicode presents a problem. We can start simple by defining all words that only use bd,cɔ,i,l,o,pq,sƨ,u,v,w,x. The rest will have to be added like this: Unsupported_titles/mirrored/`facetious`) where we'll be able to use CSS to rotate them in the headword: facetious.

It seems only fair that we'll also have to add additional entries for words' vertically-reflected forms like so:

Noun[edit]

ƨcoob

  1. Vertically-reflected form of scoop.


As well as horizontally- AND vertically- reflected forms:

Noun[edit]

dooɔs

  1. Vertically and mirrored form of scoop.


Lastly, in the interest of neutrality, all existing entries will need get templated as Template:unmirrored form of, unless they're already horizontally and vertically symmetrical, like oxo. Since all these additions can be done by bots, Wiktionary will be able to quadruple its size within days and finally make it to the top of Wikipedia:List of dictionaries by number of words.

Batteries: to-do[edit]

Since Wiktionary defines the names of the common batteries AA and AAA it would seem a wise use of our time to continue this pattern by creating an entry for the names of all the other types of batteries ever manufactured. The long list for which is found here: Wikipedia:List of battery sizes. Thanks to service manuals, attestability is guaranteed. Let's start: CR2025, LR44, CR-V3, A23, PP3, A27, CR2016, (continue...)

And after we're done that we can add...

Retrieved from "https://en.wiktionary.org/w/index.php?title=User:Vuccala/Fun&oldid=78770666"